


A Prick Job

by remme



Category: Trailer Park Boys
Genre: Childhood Memories, Drug Use, Flashbacks, Hidden Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Protective Julian, Ricky is an attention whore and I love him, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Young Ricky/Julian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remme/pseuds/remme
Summary: Young Ricky and Julians first time selling their own weed.
Relationships: Julian/Ricky (Trailer Park Boys)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 24





	1. I don’t have all the time in the whirl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is inspired by the TPB animated series flashback episodes, thank you to @ZestyMordant for getting me obsessed with them (also go read their fics they are fucking amazing).
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“You guys remember when Ricky first started growing this shit?” Julian smiled lazily, taking a deep breath in through the bong that the trio was currently sharing and holding the smoke in his lungs for a few moments.

“Fuck yeah I remember buddy! Growing since grade 6.” Ricky replied happily, coughing harshly right after.

“For once I think you’re right Ricky. Didn’t you sell to those fancy shmancy guys at first?” Bubbles piped up, overly eager to recount the memory like he always did.

“Fuck Bubs I can barely fuckin’ member.”

“I remember it like it was yesterday boys, Ricky, you’d just gotten your first plants from Terry and Dennis and it took you awhile to get em’ growing real good but after a while…”

Bubbles continued on into the memory, Ricky half paying attention, while Julian started to drift off on his own. He was thinking about the same exact story but in an entire different sense, reminiscing on the parts that Bubbles never knew about. The memory started off the same of course, Ricky killing weed plants only to buy some more cheap ones over and over until he was finally able to get what he deemed the perfect fuckin’ crop. Julian had been pretty excited himself since he would be splitting the profit with Ricky.

Julian took another sip of his drink, letting the bittersweet memory wash over him, Bubble’s voice fading away.

_**~~~** _

_“Are you seeing this shit Julian!” Ricky cheered, gesturing wildly around Ray’s trailer. The trailer’s floor was covered in weed plants of several sizes, all of them looking pretty damn good._

_“You did a good job Ricky, the plants look great. Have you tried any yet?”_

_“Only smoked two wholes entire fucking plants.” Ricky responded with a half-cocked grin, reaching in his pocket for what Julian guessed was a joint. “It’s somes of the best shit I’ve ever had Jules, just wait till you trieded it.”_

_Ricky strode over to the couch, laying down and waving Julian over. Ricky lit up a joint in his mouth while Julian sat down with his iconic drink, Ricky situating himself so that his legs were comfortably swung over Julian’s lap._

_“Here ya go.” Ricky passed the joint to Julian for him to try, and it was needless to say that it was sure as hell some of the best fucking dope that he had ever smoked, which was pretty impressive considering the plants had been some really cheap stuff. Apparently Julian’s wide smile was more than enough to feed Ricky’s ego, and he looked even happier than before as he squinted up._

_“I’m real proud of ya Rick. This weed is gonna make us a shitload of money.” Julian reached his empty hand down to Ricky’s head, mind already swimming as he ran fingers affectionately through soft red hair. Ricky just made a content grunting noise as he took the joint out of Julian’s mouth, closing his eyes and breathing in heavy smoke, subconsciously savouring the moment._

_\---_

_“You really have that much dope in your trailer Ricky?” Bubbles asked anxiously, pushing his glasses up against his nose._

_“Fuck yeahs Bubs, there’s gotta be atleast 70 grams in every fuckin’ plant!”_

_“How are you going to sell that much weed before your dad gets back?”_

_“I dunno man, Julian’s still looked for somebodies to sell to. He’s taking his fuckin’ time withs its.” Ricky said with a little too much annoyance, quickly earning an eye roll from Julian._

_“I already told you I’m looking for a good buyer Rick, I’m not selling it for cheap like most people.”_

_“I knows what you’ve been told me but you need to hurry it up, I don’t have all the time in the whirl.”_

_“World, Ricky. You don’t have all the time in the world.” Bubbles corrected, trying to end the soon-to-be argument but only agitating Ricky more._

_“That’s what I just said.”_

_“No it’s not Ricky-”_

_“Yes it is stop fucking correctlying me.”_

_“You didn’t even say that right.” Julian had said, rubbing his hand against his face and shaking his head. This just caused multiple pointed fingers and more talking over each other. The fighting finally stopped with Bubbles hyperventilating awkwardly, managing to push the two apart._

_“Stop arguing boys, I have to get to my next class.”_

_Ricky and Julian exchanged a look, Julian sighing and putting his empty hand up wearily._

_“Sorry Bubs, see ya soon.”_

_“See ya Julian.”_

_Ricky and Julian continued walking down the school hallway, not going to their shared class but not really going anywhere else either. There was only a few seconds of silence before Ricky started rambling on again._

_“You seriously better find a buyer soons Julian. You know if my dad finds out about me growing dope in his trailer he is gonna be fuckin’ pissed.” Ricky said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his backpack and lighting one, giving Julian that one wide-eyed look that he always does when he’s nervous. Julian couldn’t help but soften a little bit._

_“Don’t worry about it, I’m finding a buyer that will buy all or most of the weed so that you can get rid of it all at once. I’ve got it taken care of.”_

_“Okay Jules.” Ricky was blowing out the cigarette smoke when Julian’s name was called out loudly from behind them._

_“Julian, come over here for a second!”_

_Ricky and Julian both turned around at the unknown voice, instantly seeing the group of ten or so boys leaning out of the gym. Ricky snorted, looking at Julian with confusion and then back towards the group of heavily polished boys._

_“What do they wants?”_

_“I’m not sure, c’mon.” Julian replied gruffly and equally confused, already walking towards them._

_Julian knew he had seen the group before, at least the leader of the group, but he had never even considered talking to them because they were known for being the richest kids at school, all their parents in yacht clubs n’ shit. They were all dressed nicely and got good scores and Julian would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous._

_“What do you guys need?” Julian asked, stopping with Ricky to stand a few feet away from the group._

_“I just had a question to ask. I’m Ted if you didn’t know.” The guy that now had a name shook Julian’s hand, surprising Julian and sufficiently annoying Ricky with his professional-like bullshit. “I’ve heard that you’re selling marjuana, is that right?”_

_“Um, that depends, why do you need to know?”_

_“We will buy all of it.” Ted said, shocking Julian and causing Ricky to scoff._

_“There’s no fuckings way that you’re buying all the fuckin’ dope, we have close to 2 pounds. That’s like, four thousand dollars.” Ricky sneered, looking at the group like they were crazy._

_“I think we can make that work.” Ted said simply, eyes still trained on Julian with a polite smile._

_“You guys are serious?”_

_“Yeah, my dad will be paying for most of it.”_

_“Well, okay then, that sounds good. Meet you guys tomorrow at King of Donair?”_

_“That dirty place?” Ted just smirked, looking at the boys behind him with amusement. “I’m not going there.”_

_“Why’s not it’s fuckin’ great there.” Ricky cut in again, embarrassing Julian more._

_“It’s okay Ricky, where do you guys wanna meet?”_

_“How about the nice liquor store right outside town, you know the one I’m talking about?” Julian did know the one he was talking about, and he knew it wasn’t very close to Sunnyvale but he could care less about where they were meeting if it meant he got two fucking grand._

_“That sounds good boys!”_

_“But Julian that place is so fuckin’ far and you can’t drived for shits.” Ricky interrupted, crossing his arms unhappily and face screwing up when Ted started chuckling at him. Julian just put a hand on Ricky’s arm, trying to signal for him to stop talking._

_“Ricky, stop it.”_

_“This is fucked, do you know how fuckin’ hard its gonna be to hide all that weed-”_

_“Ricky knock it off, I’ll have it handled.”_

_“Fine. I’m sure you’ve gots its handled with your big fuckin’ head and muscles…” Ricky continued to trail off and the nice moment was somewhat ruined for Julian, now just trying to wrap up the whole thing._

_“I’ll see you guys tomorrow. It’s great doing business with ya’.”_

_“No problem. See you Julian.” Ted waved goodbye, immediately turning around afterwards and snickering to his friends. Julian was pretty sure they were laughing about Ricky._

_“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”_

_“What r’you talking about?” Ricky took out another cigarette, looking angry and glancing back to the group, too stupid to put together what they were laughing about._

_“You’re making yourself seem like a fucking idiot in front of customers Ricky!”_

_“Theys are fucking dickheads anyway.” Julian facepalmed in exhaustion, giving Ricky a disgruntled look._

_“You’re the one who was just begging me to find a buyer and I fuckin’ did.”_

_“Oh yeah cus thats was real hard for ya’.”_

_“Ricky would you shut up.”_

_“You’re the one who fucking started-”_

_“I said shut up!” Julain cut him off, wanting the argument to be over and to just be happy that they found a buyer. “We should both be excited, we are getting 4 fucking grand tomorrow!” The idea of money made Ricky’s mood change fast, and a wide smile spread across his face._

_“Hell yeah, we are gonna be fuckin’ rich!”_

_“I know man, so we gotta be careful not to fuck it up, okay?”_

_“I gots it Julian. No fuckin’ up.”_

Julian had the usual feeling that this would not end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be out soon! Leave kudos if you liked and comment!


	2. What the hell are yous talking about, engage? I’m nots gettin’ marrieds.

  
_“Moves out of the fucking way Lahey!”_

_“Julian will you come get him!”_

_“Don’t you fuckin’ dares Julian!”_

_Julian sighed for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Ricky had gotten in a fight with Randy as soon as they had gotten back to the park after school, which had quickly led to Lahey stepping in, things only escalating from there. Julian gave a side glance to Bubbles who was also watching the heated argument, him too unsure if they should interfere. As the yelling continued to give Julian a major headache he finally decided to step in._

_“C’mon Ricky we gotta prepare for tomorrow.”_

_“Shit you’re rights, gived me one more seconds!” Ricky yelled, making an effort to shove past Lahey and get to Randy but failing._

_“What are you doing tomorrow thats so important boys?” Lahey remarked, dodging a weakly thrown punch of Ricky’s._

_“Fuck off Lahey it’s none of your fuckin’ businesses asshole!”_

_“Oh yeah Rick, you two aren’t perhaps up to anything illegal now, are you?”_

_“You’re luckied I’ve got shits to do Lahey, and I’m gonna come back for yous Randy, you shirtless bastard!”_

_“Oh fuck off!” Randy called back, puffing up his chest and trying to look intimidating._

_“How about you fuck off since you’re gonna be on yous knees probably sucking me offs laters!” Ricky was finally starting to back off, moving towards Julian again as he continued with his fuckin’ weird insults._

_“Ricky come on-” Julian groaned, trying not to lose his temper any further._

_“I’m fucking coming!”_

_A few more harsh comments were exchanged by Randy and Ricky but Julian was able to grab Ricky’s shoulder without much struggle, pretty much dragging him away and towards Ray’s trailer with Bubbles._

_“You can’t be getting in fights like that with Lahey when we are trying to do drug shit, Rick. All I ask is for you to not fuck this up.”_

_“Randy’s the one who fuckin’ started it!”_

_“I don’t care who starts what, you can’t engage in that stuff right now.”_

_“What the hell are yous talking about, engage? I’m nots gettin’ marrieds.”_

_“He’s not talking about marriage, Ricky, he means you can’t let him get to you.”_

_“He could’ves just saids that.”_

_Ricky and Bubbles continued talking about random shit while they walked through Sunnyvale, the rusted trailers and cheaply paved roads giving Julian an almost comforting feeling. The grass was oddly green and it flattened beneath their feet as they walked up to Ray’s trailer’s door._

_“I already harvesteds all the dope but I’m not trim or drying any of it, that’s too much fuckin’ works.” Ricky announced as they got inside. “It’s all put in bags too so its shouldn’t be toos much work gettin’ it in the car. We just gotta fits it and not gettin pulled over.”_

_Julian nodded at Ricky’s words, glad that Ricky took some initiative and actually did shit._

_“Is there anything else we gotta do then?” Julian asked, inspecting the bags of dope. Ricky didn’t seem to have any big bags that he could have put all the dope in, so instead there were about 50 smaller bags laying everywhere._

_“Just gotta weight its buddy. I’m keeping any extras.”_

_“Well then let’s weigh it, you have a scale?”_

_“Yeah man, lemme gets it.” Ricky wandered to his cabinets, rummaging around and finally pulling out the most fucked looking scale that Julian had ever seen. As long as it worked it didn’t matter much he figured._

_“You gonna stay and help Bubs?”_

_“Sure I will Julian. You gotta lot of fuckin’ weed here.”_

_\---_

_The three of them worked for nearly two hours just weighing the weed, having to stop multiple times to fix the scale._

_“I’m gettin tired boys, can you handle the last couple bags by yourselves? I gotta feed my kitties before I go to bed.” Bubbles sighed, wiping his hand against his forehead and starting to stand._

_“Yeah we got it taken care of, go feed your cats.” Julian replied, picking up one of the last few bags to go weigh it, messing with the scale for a minute so that it would work right._

_“Thanks boys, I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

_“See ya Bubs.”_

_“See ya buddy.” Ricky added, Bubbles waving as the door shut behind him._

_“Onlys five bags left, man.” Ricky said happily, just finishing the bag he had been weighing._

_“So what do you wanna do after we’re done?”_

_“My old man's gots movies somewhere that we can watches.”_

_“Sounds good man.”_

_The duo finished the job pretty fast, Ricky rushing to go find a movie while Julian fixed himself another drink._

_“Look whats I found, this movie looks greasy!”_

_Julian looked at the half-dressed woman on the cover of the movie and was content enough, following a babbling Ricky to his room where he had managed to hook up a TV. Julian had actually helped him steal the TV a few months ago and he’d nearly gotten them both caught. Luckily Ricky is good at fucking with the police and managed to get them both out of the situation. Julian had been pretty much in awe the rest of the day, and he still smiled with fondness when remembering how fast Ricky had jumped into action when the police started handcuffing Julian. Unlike Julian, Ricky could be good under pressure. Ricky was all emotion and completely reckless, making him surprisingly useful in helping out his friends. He would go to just about any length to make sure that Bubbles didn’t get in trouble and he could tell when Julian was scared, from there taking over the situation._

_Ricky started up the movie, shoving the VHS tape roughly into the TV until it finally worked. Julian sat down on Ricky’s messy bed, propping himself up against the wall. After Ricky seemed happy with the volume he slumped next to Julian, lighting a cigarette and leaning his shoulder against Julian’s chest. Julian couldn’t help but tense at the gesture, though Ricky clearly didn’t notice. Julian wasn’t really all that comfortable with being touched, mostly because of his past_   
_experiences with his dad, but it wasn’t the same with Ricky._

_Julian wasn’t stupid, he knew that he had more than friendly feelings for Ricky, and he also knew that it was disgusting and that he shouldn’t indulge in these feelings for Ricky’s sake. That didn’t make his feelings go away though. He had gotten fairly good at ignoring these feelings and pushing them down, but whenever Ricky touched him he felt an awful surge in his stomach, all those feelings hitting him hard with a sign of Ricky’s affection. Julian had tried a year ago to distance himself from Ricky, but he quickly found out that was very much impossible. It had actually just upset Ricky, and Bubbles had come to him one day telling him that Ricky had a meltdown and had gotten arrested by Lahey because of it. Ricky had gone to Bubbles first, freaking out and telling him that he couldn’t do shit now that Julian ‘didn’t likes him anymore’ (which couldn't have been any further from the truth). Bubbles had tried to tell Ricky that Julian was probably just having a hard time lately but Ricky hadn’t believed any of it, getting completely wasted and trying to light Lahey’s police car on fire. Julian was able to convince Lahey to let Ricky go with basically no consequences, but he’d made sure to give Ricky plenty of attention for the month following that, only furthering their codependency and Julian’s feelings for him. At this point Julian had just accepted that he would be with Ricky for the rest of his life, as friends of course, and that he would have to deal with his emotions on his own and not make them Ricky’s issue. There were times when Julian’s feelings fucked with his brain and made him overly mad at Ricky for small things or jealous when he talked to other people, but he figured that these things were better than Ricky hating him forever._

_“Did you fuckin’ sees thats man? Look at her tits!” Ricky said, breaking Julian out of his thoughts. Julian nodded absently, pretending that he was paying attention to the movie. Ricky seemed to notice he was a little out of it and took this moment to try and wrestle Julian’s drink from him, holding Julian’s entire hand and pressing it to his face so that the glass sat at his mouth in an effort to get a few sips._

_“Hey hey hey hey!” Julian scolded, voice light, letting Ricky triumph and take 3 or 4 gulps of his rum and coke before pulling his drink away. Ricky let out a laugh, turning his attention back to the movie. Julian noticed that every few minutes Ricky’s eyes would flit to him, gaze unreadable from the corner of his eye. He rubbed his face self consciously a few times, unsure of what Ricky was doing. He was about to tell Ricky to stop when the red head abruptly turned off the TV._

_“This movies gettins fuckin’ boring.”_

_Julian said a couple words of agreement, taking a swig of his drink. If he didn’t know Ricky so well he would assume that this was Ricky’s way of telling him to leave, but he did know Ricky well, and he knew that this was purely Ricky getting bored and wanting attention._

_“What do you wanna do now man?” Julian asked, missing Ricky’s touch as he sat fully up._

_“Wanna joint and shares?” Ricky asked. Julian said yes, ignoring how fucked Ricky was with his sentences. He knew there was no use in correcting him all the time, it sure as hell wouldn’t fix anything. Besides, Julian knew perfectly well what Ricky was saying even if it was hard for others to understand him most of the time. He had to give Ricky credit that he was getting slightly better with his talking, probably from listening to Julian and Bubbles talk so much._

_Ricky lit up a joint that he had rolled earlier, taking a hit and coughing roughly, handing it to Julian for him to do the same._

_“I can’t waits to get all the fuckin cashes tomorrows man, I’m gonna buy so much stuff!”_

_Julian shook his head at Ricky, knowing that he was bound to do this._

_“That’s not a good idea, Rick. You’ve gotta save some of it. If you waste all of it you’ll regret it, and I’m not gonna give you any of my money.” This was obviously not what Ricky wanted to hear, face screwing up._

_“The old mans says that you gotta get your money gones fast or it’s gonna gets taken from ya’.” He said defensively._

_“No, Rick. Your dad doesn’t know shit about money. He never has any of his bills paid and he spends all his money on liquor and chicks-”_

_“Don’t be ans asshole, you're talkings abouts my fucking dad.” Ricky butted in, starting to get pissed._

_“Not tryna say anything about your dad man, I’m just saying that you should handle your money well. I’m gonna set up a bank account for myself so that I’ll get interest and get even more money. I could even put your money in my bank account too so that we can both be really rich.” Julian tried to explain, though it didn't help._

_“You aren’t taking my moneys and neither the bank!” Ricky exclaimed, looking at Julian like he was personally insulting him. Julian knew this was too hard of a concept for Ricky to grasp, pulling a hand through his black hair in frustration. He looked back to Ricky, who broke eye contact, and he could tell that the gears in Ricky’s head were short circuiting. Julian decided to use one of the best negotiation tactics he knew would work, using his free hand to tilt Ricky’s face up at him and giving him the most encouraging expression he could._

_“If you let me handle your money then you’ll have even more money than you would if you spend it. Do you get what I’m saying?” Julian could tell Ricky was still very confused, but he could also see that some of his anger was melting away. Ricky’s pretty eyes stayed fixed on Julian’s and he could see how unsure he was._

_“Think, Ricky, think.” Julian continued pressing. After a few moments he let go of Ricky’s face, the contact becoming too much for himself. However as soon as he did this Ricky started getting pissed off yet again._

_“No Julian, I don’t understands. I wants my owned fuckin’ money and I’m gonna spendly it hownevers I want. I don’ts wanna fucking saves shit, I wanna have funned now.” Ricky argued, speech getting worse while Julian got increasingly aggravated with Ricky’s stupidity._

_“You’re being dumb. I’m the smart one here, remember. Julian knows best.” This was the nail in the coffin for Ricky, and Julian realized it, both boys standing up as Ricky started to yell._

_“Don’t act like you’re the smartliest fuckin’ person in the history of peoples! I'm justs as smartly as you! It’s my fucking dope that I grews and I’ll do what I want withs my money!”_

_“Jesus Christ Rick, is there anything up there? You’re not even close to being as smart as me, you can't even say one sentence right! I don’t want you wasting money that could actually be fucking useful!”_

_“Fuck you Julian! Getted outs of my fucking trailer yous asshole!” Ricky said, eyebrows drawn together tightly and arms crossed with balled fists. Julian rolled his eyes, moving out of the room and towards the door._

_“Gladly.” He remarked, pissed off that Ricky couldn’t just listen to him like any normal person. He was pretty sure that Ricky yelled another ‘fuck off!’ as he left the trailer, but he was too caught up in his anger to listen right._

_Julian walked down the dirty asphalt roads of Sunnyvale towards his grandmother’s trailer, fuming the entire time. Whenever Julian got in an argument with anybody he could feel the weight of it for hours, sometimes days, and it fucking sucked. He couldn’t just get over that shit like Ricky and he always over thought it. The sky was pitch black but the light from some trailers illuminated the ground, a few cats laying in the grass and blinking curiously at Julian as he neared Bubble’s shed. He considered banging on the door and complaining to Bubbles about Ricky but decided against it, not wanting to wake Bubbles up. He just finished the walk to his grandmother’s trailer, getting inside quickly so that he could lay down._

It took him a long time to get to sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter out already and there should be another one soon! Leave kudos if you liked and also comments, I fucking love to read them!


	3. Sucks my cock Julian, I know more about dope than you do!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like 99% just Ricky and Julian arguing but I had to do something to fill in this time gap and I wanted to keep it realistic so enjoy! The next few chapters after this will be pretty dramatic lmao

_Waking up the next morning was fucking horrible. Julian wanted less than anything to meet up with Ricky and Bubbles at Ray’s trailer, but he knew that there was no point in avoiding it. He would just have to get the weed from Ricky later so that he could sell it to Ted and his friends anyway._

_Julian went around getting ready like usual, saying goodbye to his grandmother despite her being completely-out-of-it wasted. He took his time walking to Ray’s, not looking forward to a pissed off Ricky. Dealing with a normal Ricky could be hard enough sometimes. Julian might care about Ricky more than anyone else but that didn’t mean he would even try to deny how insanely frustrating Ricky was._

_Julian rounded the corner, Ray’s trailer coming into view, along with Ricky and Bubbles standing in front of it. Julian could tell that Bubbles was nervous just from how he was standing, and he could also tell that Ricky was going to be a nightmare. Ricky stood there with oddly straight posture and curled fists, already glaring at Julian as he walked towards them._

_“Hey there Julian!” Bubbles greeted when he reached them, clearly hopeful that Julian would be able to chill Ricky out._

_“Hey Bubs.” He replied, pausing and taking a sip of his drink. As soon as Bubbles realized that Julian wasn’t gonna say hi to Ricky his face fell, knowing that it would be awful dealing with them being pissed off at each other. If Ricky had just been mad about something else then Julian would’ve been able to cheer him up immediately, erasing the problem at least for a while, but if they were mad at each other it was pretty painful to watch. Both of them were miserable every time they fought and there wasn’t much you could do to get them back together, just let them work it out. Julian was the only one that Ricky would truly listen to and when the two were fighting about something there wasn’t really anyone to reason with Ricky. This always left Bubbles trying to babysit him._

_Ricky didn’t say anything as the three of them started walking to school, instead just lighting a cigarette and not even trying to be subtle about the looks he was throwing at Julian._

_“Jesus Murphy boys, what happened?” Bubbles asked, not beating around the bush. Julian shook his head, not wanting to rile Ricky up anymore. Ricky didn’t seem to care as much though._

_“Julian was beings a huge dick yesterday. He calleds me fuckin’ stupid and said I can’ts use my money when I gets its!”_

_“That’s not true, I just said that I don’t want you wasting it all.” Julian argued, giving Ricky an exasperated look._

_“Don’t try to act like yours so fucking good, all I said is that I wanted to spend my money and you had to yells about how dumb my brains is!” Ricky retorted, voice rising._

_“Look Ricky, I didn’t mean it like that.”_

_“Hows did yous means it?” Julian rubbed his face, quickly getting fed up with Ricky yet again._

_“I’m not talking with you about this anymore Ricky, I’m wasting my time. I’ll come by later to get the weed and I’ll give you your half of the cash tomorrow.” Ricky was unsurprisingly not happy about this plan, giving Julian a wild look and flipping him off._

_“Fuck off, I’m fucking going too! It’s my dope that I grews and you won’t be able to answers any of their fucking questions!”_

_“Yes I will, you are not coming with me!”_

_“Yes I am!”_

_“Ricky you’re in a bad mood, you’ll fuck it all up!” Julian yelled, trying to intimidate Ricky into ending the conversation even though he knew it wouldn’t work._

_“You’re in a bad mood toos you asshole!”_

_“Yeah but I can control myself.” Julian hissed angrily, exhausted and done with Ricky’s shit. Ricky going with him would be bad for the both of them. If Ricky was mad at Julian then there was a chance that he would take it out on Ted and his group, and Julian really didn’t wanna risk losing the money or getting in yet another shouting match._

_“I’m not letting yous sell the weed unless I gos Julian!”_

_“Are you fucking kidding me?”_

_“No I’m not kidding! I wanna be there whens you sell my fucking dope!” Ricky snarled, Julian clenching and unclenching his fists in an effort to calm down._

_“Boys! Will you please stop arguing!” Bubbles whimpered, grunting sadly and sniffling._

_“Great fuckin’ job Julian, you made Bubbles cry!”_

_“Its not my fucking fault- whatever. We’ll cut it out Bubs.” Julian relented, giving Bubble’s shoulder a comforting squeeze._

_“Thank you Julian. And I know this is a lot to ask but…” Bubbles changed his voice to a whisper, glancing nervously to where Ricky had walked a little ways in front of them, “will you please take him with you? He’ll figure out how to go there either way, you might as well be in charge. I don’t want anybody to get in trouble.”_

_Julian sighed, seeing how desperate Bubbles was._

_“Fine, fine. Ricky you can come with me to sell the dope-”_

_“I knows I can-” Ricky tried to cut in smugly, getting harshly stopped by a louder Julian._

_“But if you fuck it up than I’m gonna be really, really fucking pissed Ricky.”_

_“Fuck off.”_

_\---_

_Julian sat semi-awkwardly at his desk, Bubbles sitting a few away from him and Ricky nearly across the room due to their assigned seats. A lot of the time Julian and Ricky would just skip together, Bubbles joining them occasionally, but today they had all actually gone to their classes, and they were in their last class, social studies, now. Julian was half glad and half anxious with it being last period. He was excited to get two grand later that day but he still had a terrible feeling with Ricky going._

_“This is bullshits!”_

_Well, speaking of Ricky. Just about the entire class turned to look at where he sat, his hands thrown up in frustration and an angry expression plastered on._

_“Richard you are not allowed to curse in this classroom.” The teacher scolded, getting used to this behavior from Ricky._

_“But nones of this shits makes any fucking senses!” Ricky continued, some students looking amused while others looked downright terrified. Shit this seemed like it was gonna be worse than usual._

_“Richard LaFleur do not be acting stupid, do you want to get sent to the principal’s office?”_

_Julian was standing up as soon as Ricky was, trying to get to him quickly. Ricky flipped over his desk, the noise echoing deafeningly and causing a few students to yelp in a mixture of fear and surprise. Julian wrapped his hand tightly around Ricky’s forearm, trying to tug him out the door before the teacher could freak out, but Ricky was damn set on being as annoying as possible. Ricky was just about to start yelling when Julian moved closer to him, keeping a hand on his arm as he whispered, tone carefully calm._

_“Ricky I know that you’re freaking out right now and that you don’t wanna talk to me but you gotta stop, just for a second. Let’s go home early and put the dope in the car, eh? It’ll give you some time to relax.”_

_“I’m nots gonna relax, I’m nots.” Ricky breathed out, eyes searching Julian’s aggressively. Despite Ricky’s words he actually did allow himself to be pulled away from the mess and out of the classroom. The teacher yelled at Ricky as they left, things that a teacher could definitely get fired for saying, and Bubbles gave the boys a shocked look, offering Julian a thumbs up when Ricky stopped looking. Julian just shook his head, closing the door behind himself and taking a large gulp of his drink._

_“Come on man let’s get to the park.”_

_\---_

_The walk to Sunnyvale had been pretty non-confrontational, just Ricky complaining about school and everything else. They were now carrying all the dope to Julian's grandmothers since they were using her car. They had put the little bags of dope into big garbage bags so that they only had to make one trip, but it was already straining Julian’s muscles._

_“And you aren’t runnings this wholes dope thing eithers Julian.” Ricky said, Julian only paying attention to Ricky’s rambling when his name was mentioned._

_“Ricky we weren’t even talking about that, you don’t have to keep bringing it up that you forced me into bringing you. And I am running most of it, okay?”_

_“Sucks my cock Julian, I know more about dope than you do!”_

_“Ricky I know more than enough, it’s just some random rich kids. I already compromised enough by just letting you come, don't you dare try to talk to them or anything.”_

_“Ill talks as much as I fucking wants!”_

_“Do you have to argue with me about everything? You know that I’m better at talking, Ricky, and I want this to go perfectly.”_

_“I don’t cares if your betters at talkings. Now I’m just gonnas do it to piss you offed.”_

_“Ricky I swear-”_

_Julian paused in his sentence to take a look at Ricky, noticing an almost smug look on his face even as he struggled to carry two garbage bags. The small smile forming there let him know that Ricky might try to annoy him but that he would probably let Julian do what Julian needed to do, and that was enough for him._

_“Just please don't fuck this up Ricky. I really need the money.”_

_“I’m not gonna be all stuck up to thoses dickheads.” Ricky warned, still not wanting to give in to Julian._

_“I didn’t say you had to, just listen to me while we are there Ricky, please. Right after we get back you can be all mad again but just be good for me while we are there.”_

_Ricky sighed, giving Julian a considerate look. The older boy realized that he had convinced him, subconsciously offering Ricky a smile. Julian knew that Ricky was a slut for any kind of praise, and if Julian asked Ricky to be good for him than Ricky was usually much more agreeable. Or he would throw a fit, but luckily that did not seem to be happening today. It was honestly adorable and it made Julian’s heart throb that Ricky was motivated by idea of Julian being happy with him, even when he was pissed at him._

_“If I’m listening to you whiles wes are there then you better listens to me too if I have anything to sayed.” Ricky added, clearly still wanting to have some power._

_“Okay Ricky, if there's anything you seriously have an issue with I’ll listen to you.” Julian wanted to say that he would’ve done this anyway, but he didn’t doubt that Ricky would disagree with him just for the sake of it._

_“Goods. I’ll tries my bested then.” Ricky declared right as they reached Julian’s grandmother's car._

_Julian popped open the back, putting his bags in and then taking Ricky’s to hide them too. After that Julian climbed into the driver’s seat, Ricky taking shotgun next to him and turning the radio on, volume all the way up. It took a little more useless arguing for Ricky to put on his seatbelt and Julian took time to mentally prepare for the worst as he started up the car._

Julian crossed his fingers under the steering wheel, still fighting a bad nagging in his head as they headed to the liquor store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave kudos if you liked and leave a comment, I fucking love reading them!


	4. Fucks off, if you sell theses guys my dope I’m not gonna fucking forngive you!

_“You haves to go the other way Julian!”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“The liquor stores is that way!”_

_“No it isn’t Ricky it’s this way!”_

_Julian sighed, turning another corner with one hand and taking a drink with his other. It actually ended up that Ricky was right, Julian should have gone the other way, but Julian just drove a big circle around town and Ricky was too stupid to realize. Julian didn’t come to this town much, really only when he needed to get money, mostly because he was not welcome anywhere around the area and Ricky even less._

_The liquor store wasn’t very popular apparently, and the parking lot was almost empty when they pulled in. Julian figured it was a pretty good spot to do the deal, doubting they would have to worry about anyone seeing them. He had no idea what car Ted drove there, but he assumed that they were already waiting behind the building since he and Ricky were late. Julian went as far back as he could to park the car, taking a heavy breath and unbuckling._

_“Remember Ricky, be good. Don’t. Fuck. This. Up.” Julian said before swinging open the car door. Ricky rolled his eyes but nodded, he could tell that Julian was all stressed out. The two went to the tail end of the car, Julian just grabbing one garbage bag so that they could prove they had the weed. Julian took yet another deep breath, wanting to stay composed and in command even as his nerves acted up. They were about to get 4 fucking grand! They started to walk, Ricky a little ahead of Julian, which is when he noticed something in Ricky’s pocket. Julian nearly killed Ricky when he fully registered what it was._

_“A gun! Are you fucking kidding me!” Julian whisper-yelled, grabbing the gun handle and taking it from Ricky._

_“Gives that back! What if they don’t gives us the money or try to busted us or somethings!” Ricky complained, moving to try and take the 9mm back._

_“Ricky, stop! I’m keeping the gun, okay?! If anything goes wrong I can use it, you’ll just end up getting pissed and threatening them!”_

_“I already saids I’ll be good, I’ll only uses it if I abso-luty haves to!” Ricky pouted, Julian unwilling to change his mind._

_“Ricky just let me keep it, I don’t want you using it at all! Keep moving!”_

_Julian gave Ricky a small shove forwards, successfully getting him to walk again even as he was huffing and puffing. They rounded to the back of the liquor store, Ted and his group quickly coming into the view. The liquor store was on the very edge of town, so behind it there was just a large rectangle of gravel with some big trash bins, grass extending after that. Ted and his group walked across the distance of the gravel, meeting Julian and Ricky near the middle. Ted smiled widely at Julian, shaking his hand again._

_“Glad to see you guys, wasn't sure you were gonna be here.”_

_“Yeah, sorry for being late, it took us a while to get all the weed in the car. It isn't trimmed or dryed yet so it takes up a lot of space.”_

_Ted nodded, a polite smile resting on his face. Julian could tell it was fake and he found it almost unsettling._

_“We’ve got three more bags of it for you guys to get in the car, just wanted you to look at it now and everything.”_

_“Sounds good.” Ted confirmed, taking the bag from Julian and starting to rummage through it._

_“Anys of yous guys got smokes?” Ricky asked, earning a wary look from Julian just for talking._

_Most of the boys stared at Ricky owlishly, no one moving._

_“I don’t, sorry.” Ted started, a smirk growing on his face, “I heard about your tantrum at school today though, bet you need one after that.”_

_Ricky shot Julian a look, obviously wanting to say something. Julian shook his head, giving Ricky a hard stare, trying to tell him to stay quiet for the 4k. Julian was grateful that Ricky seemed to get the message, gritting his teeth roughly._

_“Does it look good for you man?” Julian asked, noticing how Ted was examining the dope._

_“It looks like a cheap strain. There's no way this is worth four thousand.”_

_“It’s probably worths a lot more than 4k actually, its fucking amazing. It tastes great and smokes supers well.” Ricky butted in, seeming to have expected that._

_“He’s right, it’s some of the best stuff I’ve ever smoked. The plants didn’t cost that much but Ricky put a lot of money and effort into growing it and now it’s just as good as the expensive shit.” Julian added, knowing Ted wouldn’t take Ricky seriously._

_“So there is something that he’s good at?”_

_“Oh fuck you, suck my-”_

_“Ricky, calm down.” Julian hushed, gently touching Ricky's arm just to provide him something to ground himself with._

_“It was a genuine question, don’t take it the wrong way.” Ted pushed, continuing to check the weed, making sure that everything was right. Julian was trying to just control his brain at this point, not surprised by Ted’s aggression towards Ricky. Of course the rich asshole would have a problem with him, he was dumb, poor, and constantly yelling or high. Usually both. That didn’t mean it didn’t bother Julian, because it did, Julian cared more about Ricky than himself, but there was no way he was risking four thousand over Ricky’s feelings getting hurt._

_“It all looks good. Let me just count the money, it might take me a second.” Ted said, digging out a wallet from his backpack. “So you guys grew this stuff all by yourselves?”_

_“Yeah, and we plan on growing more soon.” Julian replied, drinking more as his nerves eased a little._

_“Nice. This is your first crop?”_

_“Pretty much, yeah.”_

_“How many times did you fuck up before you were able to get this one?” Ted asked smugly, this question directed at Ricky._

_“Only killesed a couples of plants.” Ricky responded shortly. It was a lie but Ted seemed slightly defeated. Julian was surprised by Ricky’s self restraint at the question, watching as he harshly kicked a couple rocks on the ground. He had assumed that as soon as Ted said another thing that Ricky would go off the rails, but Ricky really was making an effort to be good for him. Julian tried to ignore how gay and gushy that made his head._

_“Pretty impressive, I was expecting the dope to be shit with but you being involved in it but you both seem confident.”_

_“I was expectings yous to be lessed of a dickhead.” Ricky rebutted, still keeping most self-control._

_Ted chuckled, directing his focus to Julian who was unsure if he should do anything._

_“I mean seriously I can hardly understand him, can you translate or something?”_

_Ted’s group laughed from behind him and Julian was very glad that he taken the gun from Ricky, who was currently staring at Julian with angry blue eyes and looking for as much reassurance as possible._

_“Will both of you stop, give me the money and we’ll finish the sale Ted.”_

_“Sorry, didn’t mean to upset you. You actually seem cool, Julian.”_

_Julian just nodded completely absently, wanting the deal to be over._

_“And it’s a really good thing you're in charge of him. You’re doing the lord’s work man, he must be impossible to deal with.”_

_“He’s nots in fucking charged of me! And whos fucked your mom this morning! Why are you being such ans asshole?” Ricky snapped, yelling and stabbing a finger into Ted’s chest._

_“Everyone knows you're a major lunatic, Ricky. I don’t even have to have something against you since you put your own foot in your mouth everytime you talk.”_

_Ricky took a dangerous step forward, about to throw a punch when Julian grabbed his wrist, pulling Ricky back to hold him still._

_“Ted let’s get this over with.”_

_Ted smirked, Ricky thrashing to get out of Julian’s grip. Julian’s heart was pounding at this point, not sure who he should blame for this situation._

_“Julian don’t you fucking dare give this fucker any the dope that I fucking grew!”_

_“Ricky, shut up.” Julian said, pleading more than anything_

_“No! And I don’t care how much money we lose, I don’t want my good dope to be used by him!”_

_There goes Ricky again, letting his own emotions get in the way of money._

_“You need to get your dog a leash.” Ted said, voice nearing laughter and making Julian feel sick._

_Ricky jerked to try and swing at Ted again, Julian barely managing to stop him by pushing him to the ground._

_“Four fucking grand Ricky. I told you not to fuck this up.”_

_Ricky was standing in seconds, not trying to go at Ted this time._

_“Go fuck yourselfs Julian! You said that if I had an issue with anythings that you would listens to me!”_

_Julians heart almost stopped at that, an awful feeling of guilt washing over him before remembering the money. He could practically just buy Ricky’s happiness with his own 2k if he needed to._

_“Not if you wanted to stop the entire deal over some petty bullshit Ricky!”_

_“Fucks off, if you sell theses guys my dope I’m not gonna fucking forngive you!”_

_“This is why I didn’t want to bring you. Just go sit in the car!”_

_“No! Hears yourselve right now Julian, you are the worsts friend in the whole fucking oonaverse! You’re shellfish and you treats me like a fucking dog! I want my gun back!”_

_Everyone instantly took a step back at the word gun, Julian falling into panic now._

_“Ricky, no, take it easy man!”_

_“You know what, I’m fucking leaving, this is fucked! Enjoy your money Julian! And have funs having greasy anals sex with Ted!”_

_Julian felt his face flush from a mixture of anger, sadness, and embarrassment. Things were definitely fucked this time. Ricky thought that he was selfish and that he treated him badly. Julian wished more than anything that he could just crumple in on himself, hug Ricky, or even have a second to calm down, but he couldn’t. It was too late for that shit now._

_“The deal’s still on, right?”_

_“Of course.” Ted said, smiling as Julian downed the rest of his drink._

_“Good, let's finish this up.”_

Julian would just talk to Ricky later, everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this seem true to Julians character cus we do see that Julian puts a ton of value on money, but the drug deal isn’t done quite yet so yeah. Anyway, thank you for reading! Leave kudos if you liked and comment, I fucking love to read them!


	5. Oh yeah, run off and go and see your little boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t edited this chapter at all, I really just wanted to get it out. Sorry for taking so long to post!

_Ted handed Julian the money, who recounted it quickly to be sure that it was four thousand._

_“Looks good. The rest of the dope is in my trunk so we can go get that now.” Julian said, Ted nodding in response._

_“Perfect, let’s go.”_

_Julian led the group back to the front of the liquor store and towards his grandmother’s car, which thank god, was still there with no sign of damage from Ricky. However Ricky was also nowhere in sight, which meant that he must have started walking somewhere, hopefully straight to Sunnyvale. Julian now took the car keys out of his pocket, unlocking it and popping the trunk. The three garbage bags were still there and Ted moved forwards to take a look in each one and make sure they were legit too. Julian watched as Ted rummaged around, thinking about what to do regarding Ricky. He would make sure to find Rick after the deal and talk to him, give him the money and offer to take him to go buy stuff. Ricky could be stubborn as fuck so Julian wasn’t completely sure that his plan would work, but Julian would figure it out, he always did. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t extremely worried though._

_“This all looks pretty good. Glad we can wrap this up now, it should be easier now that the psychopath is gone.” Ted chuckled, the rest of his group laughing quietly behind him as if Julian wasn’t there._

_“Will you cut it out, he’s my fucking friend.” Julian said, instantly stopping the giggling with his sharp tone. Julian could let Ricky defend himself if he was there, but he wasn’t there anymore, and it felt awful to let Ted talk about him and do nothing. Ricky didn’t deserve that, and he didn’t deserve being mocked in the first place._

_“I know you two are pretty close but it really seems like he’s dragging you down with his own bullshit, you’d do fine on your own. Or with us if you wanted.” Ted continued, unrelentingly testing Julian’s limit. Julian took a deep breath in and repeated 4k in his mind._

_“I’m okay, Ricky’s great with a ton of stuff, he just speaks his mind and doesn’t take people’s bullshit.” Julian said, trying to not seem as fed up as he was._

_“Well he seems pretty useless now, might as well drop him while he’s pissed.”_

_“I’m sure he’ll get over all this soon. Can I help you carry this to your car now?” Julian glared at Ted, pushing to get this whole thing over before he fucked it up in anger._

_“Yeah, thanks. Sorry if I’m offending you man I just don’t like the guy. I mean, I’m sure you know the worst of it yourself. He’s insane, and don’t even get me started on his immature, gay-ass insults, I bet that faggot-”_

_Julian reached into his pocket and pulled out Ricky’s gun, holding it up to the sky and shooting it off. The loud noise scared everyone, Ted and his group quickly collapsing to the ground._

_“Don’t make me fucking use this, yeah? You’re going too far Ted.” Julian growled, emotions in complete turmoil. How dare Ted say that shit, especially about fucking Ricky._

_“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Ted yelled, stumbling to his feet and taking a few steps back from the car._

_“I told you to stop didn’t I?” Julian yelled back, throwing his hands up in frustration. He should have just let Ricky beat the shit out of Ted, now he’d gone and lost his temper and fucked himself over by shooting off a gun. Not that he really regretted it all that much, but he was sure that someone heard the shots and the police would probably be sent here soon._

_“Give me my fucking money back or my dad will sue the shit out of you!”_

_“Here, take your fucking money, you dick.” Julian took the four thousand out of his pocket and threw it at Ted, only feeling worse at the loss of the money. He wanted to take the money and leave so bad but he would undoubtedly get caught for that. Julian hurriedly shoved the bag’s of weed back into the trunk then opened the door to his car, figuring it would be best to get the hell out of there and fast._

_“Oh yeah, run off and go and see your little boyfriend.”_

_If there was a moment that Julian had snapped, it was then. The words definitely hit a nerve. Julian very rarely used actual violence against anyone, and if it was needed he would let Ricky do it. Hurting people made Julian feel like his dad, and even that thought made him fucking sick. When his fist connected roughly with Ted’s jaw however, he felt pretty good. The loud cracking sound did make him squirm a little though. Ted fell to the ground in seconds, holding his jaw in his hands like he was scared that if he let it go it would fall off. None of Ted’s group moved at all to help him, they just stayed in place looking horrified. Julian began to hear police sirens in the far distance and he quickly rushed back to the driver’s seat, starting the car and ignoring his now-throbbing hand. Ted cried and cursed on the concrete as Julian backed out, putting his full weight on the gas and leaving the parking lot in one motion._

_\---_

_Julian had driven directly to Sunnyvale after everything, and right to Ray’s trailer, hoping that Ricky had been smart enough to come home. Of course, he hadn’t been. Julian knocked on the trailer door a few times, yelling for Ricky to come to the door, but there was absolutely no answer. Julian felt his stomach drop, feeling terrible and worried. There was a chance that Ricky was just taking a very long time to get to Sunnyvale because he had been walking, but then Julian was sure he would have seen him on the way back. Julian debated driving around to look for Ricky, but he knew that would be a bad idea since the cops were probably already alerted that something had happened. Julian continued to stand in front of Ray’s trailer, quickly becoming overwhelmed. After multiple minutes he started to move, heading to Bubble’s shed. Bubbles was much better with emotions than Julian and was also good at giving advice most of the time. Plus he was partly to blame for the situation, he had basically forced Julian to bring Ricky. Julian didn’t bother taking the car out of Ray’s driveway, just walking the fairly short distance to his grandmother’s trailer where Bubbles lived in his yard. Then he knocked on the white door, not really waiting for a response before walking in. Bubbles' attention was on Julian as soon as he walked in. Bubbles smiled as he looked up from his spot petting his cat, but his smile fell as he spoke, noticing Julian’s expression._

_“Hey Julian, how did the deal go?”_

_“Not good Bubs, I need your help.”_

_“What? What happened?” Bubbles stood, looking very worried as Julian shook his head._

_“I don’t know where Ricky is and he’s really pissed at me.”_

_“Why? What are you talking about?” Bubbles asked, already fidgeting with his hands and looking as anxious as Julian felt._

_“Ted, that’s the guy who we were selling the dope to, he was being a huge dick to Ricky and eventually Rick got fed up and tried to attack the guy but I stopped him and then he got mad at me and left, and now I don’t know where the hell he is.”_

_“Fuck Julian, that’s bad news. When Ricky is mad he goes fuckin’ bonkers.”_

_“I know, and I don’t even have the fucking money!”_

_“What, why?”_

_“Ricky told me not to sell Ted the dope but I was going to anyway, but then Ted made some really fucked comments and I fired off Ricky’s gun, punched him, and drove off. I still have the dope though.”_

_“You shot off a fucking gun?!” Bubbles yelled, ignoring the rest of Julian’s words and starting to hyperventilate._

_“I wasn’t thinking straight!”_

_“Obviously not!”_

_“Look, this isn’t my fault! You made me bring Ricky!” Julian argued, only becoming more frustrated and tired._

_“Oh don’t blame this on me!” Bubbles defended, doing that weird voice he always did when he was getting upset._

_“I’m not blaming anyone except Ted, I’m just saying that I tried to prevent this. ” Julian said, patting Bubble’s shoulder to calm him down, wanting to get back on track._

_“Fine, fine, are we going to go find Ricky?”_

_“I don’t know if we should, he’s really mad at me-”_

_“Are you kidding me, you are gonna put Ricky at risk because you're scared he’s gonna be mad at you?! You know he can’t be running around by himself!”_

_“I’m not scared, I’m just saying that we might wanna let him cool off before I talk to him, he was really pissed.” Julian continued, not wanting to admit that Ricky yelling at him more right now would probably send him into a depressive episode._

_“What did he say?” Bubbles asked, still confused on what exactly had gone so wrong._

_“He said that I’m a bad friend and that he isn’t gonna forgive me.” Julian mumbled, feigning nonchalance despite remembering Ricky’s words making him unreasonably mad at both Ricky and himself. Bubbles sighed heavily yet again, seeing right through Julian. Bubbles would never say anything, but he could tell that Julian had very strong feelings for Ricky, and whether those feelings were platonic or not it was none of his business. This knowledge did make him more aware of how stressed Julian was at the moment however._

_“Julian, Ricky is one of the most over-emotional and dramatic people I have ever met. He was just upset that you wouldn’t side with him and he acted out. He will forgive you Julian, you didn’t even sell the dope.” Bubbles said, trying to be reassuring._

_“I know, I know, I just-”_

_“You just hate seeing him angry with you. I know that Julian, but you have to deal with it, Ricky is mad all the time, you have to talk to him to get over it. Ricky is very forgiving, especially when it comes to you. And I know that you are too stubborn to do this, but if you just apologize to him and give him a hug then he will be happy instantly. It’s better to see him angry than hurt anyway.”_

_“You're right Bubs.” Julian sighed, following Bubbles out of the shed. They started heading back to Ray’s trailer to get Julian’s grandmother’s car, Julian uncomfortably taking note of how quick it was getting dark. He was feeling a wide variety of emotions at the same time, mainly just feeling there was a ton of cement weighing him down, but his worry for Ricky’s well being was currently getting worse. The night had been pretty bad. He hadn’t gotten any money, he had a ton of weed that he still needed to sell asap, he’d completely ignored Ricky’s feelings and he was only now fully realizing it, Ricky had gone and left, and he’d gotten in a fight with Ted._

_“You okay Julian?” Bubbles awkward voice brought Julian out of thoughts and he nodded, taking another turn to get to Ray’s. As soon as the trailer came into view though he saw Lahey’s police car sitting out front._

_“What the hell is he doing there?” Julian spoke his thoughts aloud, both him and Bubbles picking up their speed to reach the trailer. The scene got closer and Julian could see that his grandmother’s car was still in place, and that everything looked fine, so there didn’t seem to be a reason for Lahey to be there. Unless he had somehow gotten information about the drug deal. Julian felt more stress spike as he stopped a few feet away from Ray’s property, watching as Lahey climbed out of his car._

_“Hey there Julian, I got something for you!” Lahey called almost teasingly, moving to open a different door in his car. Julian didn’t reply, half expecting Lahey to pull out handcuffs or something. Needless to say when a disgruntled Ricky all but fell out of the car Julian felt a hundred times worse and better at the same time. Ricky let out a ‘Cocksucker!’ as he hit the grass, brushing off his dirty Helix shirt and standing with a scowl._

_“Ricky!” Bubbles greeted, clearly relieved._

_“I found this one nearly passed out on the side of the road.” Lahey informed them, looking at Julian while he spoke. Everyone knew that Julian and Ricky were constantly together, so Ricky only did this kind of shit when something had happened, and Lahey was starting to catch on with the glares._

_“Fucks off.” Ricky grumbled._

_“Thank you Mr.Lahey.” Julian said simply, unable to say anything else as Ricky started again angrily._

_“Oh fucks yous Julian with your thanks yous and shits!” Ricky was now moving to his trailer, flipping both Lahey and Julian off as he continued, “And Bubbles I don’ts wannas talk to yous either sense you justs gonna takes his side!”_

_Ricky slammed the shitty trailer door behind him, and Julian just stood there completely emptily, wanting to chase after Ricky and also ignore him at the same time. He took a long swig from his drink, trying to plan out what he could say as Lahey opened his car door again._

_“I think I’ll leave you boys to deal with this. Good luck, and try not to let him do this shit again soon.” With that Lahey left, and the night grew darker even faster._

_“I’m gonna leave this up to you Julian, I don’t want to get wrapped up in it. And remember, Ricky cares about you, he will forgive you. I’m going to feed my kitties.” Bubbles said, him too starting to walk away. Julian didn’t even try to get him to stay, just choosing to run a hand over his face and go straight to the door, hesitating as he lifted his hand to knock. He already knew that Ricky wouldn’t simply be letting him in._

Shit this would take some effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I’ll try to have the next chapter out much faster than this one. Leave kudos if you enjoyed and comment, they really make me happy reading them! 
> 
> (Also if u saw any mistakes or rushed parts pls let me know so i can fix it)


	6. You knows you’ve gottsa tells me that kinds of emotionals stuff out louds.

_Julian stood at the door for more than a few minutes, just debating what to say. If he wanted this over fast he would have to suck up to Ricky, and that would be fine. He just had to say some nice things without accidentally revealing his feelings and also without focusing on the fact that he loves Ricky more than what would ever be reciprocated. He could do that. Julian sucked in a deep breath, preparing himself._

_“Hey Ricky, can you open the door, I wanna talk to you!” Julian called, keeping his voice strong and loud but also non-threatening at the same time._

_“Fucks off!” Ricky’s called back to him, causing Julian to rub a hand over his face. Ricky was obviously in the mood to be difficult._

_“Cmon Rick, just let me talk!”_

_“No! I mighted be stupid, buts I’m nots that stupid! You'res gonna do your mind-screwing stuff ons me, I’m nots forngiving you!”_

_“Ricky I promise I won’t do any mind screwing-”_

_“Oh yeah cus your promises mean so much.” Ricky yelled, voice muffled slightly through the door. Julian still felt the weight of the words though, remembering with discomfort how much he had brushed off his promise to listen to Ricky at the deal._

_“I should’ve listened to you better Ricky. Just let me in so we can talk a little more privately.”_

_“Fucks off.”_

_“Please, Ricky. I didn’t even sell the dope. It’s still in the car.”_

_Ricky seemed to consider that, leaving the two silent for a few moments before replying with just as much anger in his voice as before._

_“I- fines, okay Julian. I’ll lets you in but I’m stills really fucking mads!”_

_With that the door was swung open, the agitated younger standing right in front of the door where he had been while talking to Julian. Julian forced himself past Ricky quickly, not giving him any chance to change his mind. He took another sip of his drink, standing in Ricky’s living room as the door closed. Ricky’s scowl was focused on Julian again in seconds, and damn was that hard to deal with right then._

_“Ricky I didn’t mean to upset you earlier-”_

_“Don’t talk tos me like a fuckings baby.” Ricky snarled, crossing his arms and succeeding in making Julian feel ten times more nervous about this confrontation._

_“I-I’m not trying to. I just, shit.” This was not a good time for Julian to be struggling with his words, yet here he was, and it was all because he’d fucked up with Ricky. He was about to try again when Ricky started talking, noticing Julian’s difficulties._

_“You weres beings a huged asshole earlier Julian. Yous were mads at me and not at Ted when he starteds the wholes fucking thing!”_

_“I know, and I realized that. I didn’t sell him the dope!”_

_“Yous stills didn’t cared while Ted saids all ofs that shit! You knows thated if anyones ever saids a bad word about yous that I would beats them up, but you don’ts cares as much about me apparanently.” Julian went silent at that, honestly shocked at Ricky. How the fuck could Ricky even think that Julian didn’t care about him, Julian was insanely fucking in love with the lunatic for fuck’s sake. Julian suddenly felt much worse, desperately pushing down his feelings that wanted him to scream at Ricky about how much he loved him. He also further realized that Ricky was completely right, if Ted had said anything about Julian than Ricky would be the first one to knock him the fuck out, while Julian had just made Ricky take it. Julian felt damn near throwing up, unsure of how to express anything without breaking down or spilling his feelings, which was disgusting in itself and would definitely ruin their friendship forever._

_“Nots that’d I needs you tos protect me or anything, it’s just beings a bads friend.” Ricky suddenly continued, clearly mistaking Julian’s silence as judgement which Julian couldn’t even begin to imagine._

_“I do care about you Ricky. So much. The only reason I didn’t stop him was because I wanted the money so bad. After you left he kept being a dickhead though and I realized I was wrong.”_

_“I bets you agreeded withs all the stuff he was fuckings sayings.” Ricky said. His voice sounded just as mad as it had been but quieter, though Julian could instantly tell how hurt and vulnerable Ricky was, only making him more confused and desperate to do something._

_“What are you talking about-”_

_“Yous probably think I’m that fuckings stupid thats you are just in charged of mes forever and that yous cans control me and tells me whats to do. You just talks over me ands cuts me off whenever I’m feelings something thats you don’t like.”_

_“Ricky, stop that.” Julian huffed, finding it hard to listen with how wrong Ricky was. He immediately regretted the sentence however as he registered what he’d done. He’d cut off Ricky when he was just trying to say how he felt, exactly what he’d said was making him so hurt. Ricky’s face darkened, understandably so._

_“This is whats I fuckings means! You justs did thes thing! I’m tellings yous that I’m angry and you act alls bettered and stop me! Well I’m nots fucking stoppings Julian, fuck you!”_

_Julian reached out to touch Ricky’s arm, hoping that it would soothe him and stop his yelling, knowing how much Ricky loved any physical attention, but his hand was swiftly slapped away._

_“Ands you need to stop doings that! I knows thats you touch me to trys to calm me down for your owns fucking benedict!”_

_Julian was taken back yet again, surprised that Ricky had figured that out and also ashamed that he really had been manipulating him by using his touch-starvedness. He tried not to consider how gutted Ricky’s rejection of touch had made him._

_“I only said stop so that I could apologize, I’m sorry Ricky. I just want you to know that I feel really fucking bad. I didn’t know that kind of stuff made you so upset.”_

_“Wells it doeses sometimes.” Ricky said, more hushedly. Julian also noticed how Ricky toyed with his own hands, making it obvious that not letting Julian touch him had made him even more antsy and eager for some kind of affection, causing Julian’s heart to lurch._

_“I’m sorry man, I’ll stop.”_

_“Nos yous won’t, I don’t thinks you’re even ables to withs your fuckings egno.”_

_“I-”_

_“No, lets me talk. I'm used to yours money shit ands yous thinking your plans are always perfect, I don’t evens think you can change thats, but just listen when I try to expresses myself, okay?”_

_“I will.” Julian confirmed plainly, going to take another drink of his rum and coke before realizing that it was completely empty._

_“Okay.”_

_There was a moment of silence, Julian weighing whether it was in his best interest to say more. He finally did talk again, feeling the need to reassure Ricky of something._

_“Rick, I really don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you or that I think I’m in charge of you or something. I care about you a lot, like more than anything else. Everyone knows it, Bubbles, Lahey, everybody, and I assumed that you did too. I wouldn’t change a fucking thing about you.” It was hard for Julian to say out loud, but he did, and he felt insanely tense afterwards, staring at his feet and knowing that there was more that he could say that he never would._

_“Okay.”_

_Julian almost winced at the simplicity of Ricky’s response, but when he moved his gaze to meet Ricky’s he could see the anger disappearing, and he felt ridiculously relieved. You could tell that Ricky was still fighting his own head but Julian could see that Ricky was happy with the praise. Julian knew that Ricky was insecure as all hell, even though it was hard for most people to tell. He knew that Ricky’s brain was very easily influenced, so when people told Ricky bad things about himself he usually ended up believing those things subconsciously. Sometimes when Julian got mad he would say some pretty mean shit to Ricky, even though he tried his best not to, but when he did he could tell that it stuck with Ricky until Julian corrected himself. This taught him how much Ricky clung onto any praise, not used to it but loving it entirely. It was very unlike Julian, praise actually made him uncomfortable and more insecure, which meant it was also hard for him to compliment others, but he really did have to start doing that for Ricky more._

_“You knows you’ve gottsa tells me that kinds of emotionals stuff out louds, I’m bads at figuring that shit out on my own.” Ricky eventually said, proving Julian’s thoughts correct._

_“Sorry man.”_

_“You can stops yours apologosing now. You already knows I was lyings when I saids I wouldn’t forngive you.”_

_Julian almost smiled at that, but instead offered something that he knew would make Ricky feel better._

_“I punched Ted in the face.”_

_“Yous did?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“That’s prettys fucking sick man.”_

_Ricky actually did have a small smile now, though it fell after a couple of moments, replaced by an almost distraught expression. Julian could see the gears turning in Ricky’s head, and he was clearly trying to decide something. Julian wasn’t sure if he should leave now, give both of them some time to think and himself some time to stop his heart from beating so hard, or if he should stay and relax with Ricky, which seemed really nice, especially at the moment. He doubted Ricky would want him here much longer though._

_“Is there anything I can do Ricky?” Julian asked, knowing that whatever was bothering Ricky was probably because of him and giving Ricky the opportunity to tell him to leave._

_“You’re gonna stays here, right?”_

_Well that hadn’t been the question that Julian expected._

_“If you want me to, then yeah.”_

_“Yeah, I wants you toos.”_

_There was another moment of silence, Ricky still looking troubled._

_“You really don’t agreed with what Ted saids?” Ricky asked, Julian’s heart breaking at how wounded Ricky sounded._

_“No Ricky, I never would, you’re perfect. You have your issues just like everyone else, but that doesn’t make you any less amazing.” Julian cringed a little at his own words, worried that he had said too much before Ricky spoke again._

_“I loves you Jules.”_

_“Love you too, man.” Julian said, trying to keep his poker face. All these emotions were making it hard for him to function right._

_“Likes, a lot.”_

_Julian nodded at Ricky’s continuation, forcing himself to not dig too deep into the sentiment of his words. He instead went to Ray’s kitchen, refilling his glass with just rum this time._

_“So do you wanna watch a movie, maybe horror or-”_

_“Cans you kiss me?”_

_Julian completely froze at Ricky’s words, brain literally stopping completely, unable to process absolutely anything. He met Ricky’s eyes after a minute of total absence, the other looking panicked._

_“I mean- nots in a gay way- a hug works toos. I just- shit.”_

_“I- Ricky, what?” Julian stammered, sure he was imagining things or something. This was not happening, this would never happen, Ricky was straight. He did not return Julian’s feelings. All of a sudden Julian’s thoughts started to seem a little blurry, his brain crumbling as the things he thought he knew so well were being doubted. Fuck he couldn’t get his hopes up, it would destroy him if he did._

_“Forgets I said anything, I’ll gos pick out a movie. It was just an emotion thing, sorrys.” Ricky said, pain clear on his face as he rushed away into Ray’s room, yelling a loud ‘Fuck!’ on the way there. Julian stood still, completely stuck in his head before Ricky returned, some random film in his hand._

_“I didn’t means it in a weird ways. Don’t be alls weird man.” Ricky said somewhat nervously, causing Julian to just shake his head in utter disbelief._

_“You just asked me to kiss you Ricky!”_

_“It's nots that big of a deasl! Peoples kiss peoples alls the time!” Ricky all but yelled, averting eye contact._

_“It's not a big deal for you?”_

_“No, it’s nots a big deal, I was justs asking. Sorry.”_

_“So you don’t want me to kiss you?”_

_Ricky paused, looking to Julian again._

_“I- Julian I’m confuseds.”_

_“What are you confused about?” Julian asked, his head glad that there was still this normality, used to explaining things to Ricky._

_“I’m confuseds abouts you. Do yous wants to kiss or..?” Julian didn’t know how to answer that, still not capable of forming a coherent thought, so he just did his usual psychology bullshit, switching the question around._

_“Do you?”_

_“I askeds you firsts.”_

_Julian took a deep breath, hands shaking roughly at this point._

_“I can’t kiss you Ricky.”_

_Ricky let out his own breath that he had been holding, looking dejected but managing to keep his shit together, which was insanely impressive to Julian._

_“Okay that’s fine thens, we cans just watch a movie, no needs to freak out likes you always do.”_

_Julian didn’t move, Ricky staring at him intensely, clearly hoping that Julian wasn’t about to scream or fight or something._

_“No, no. I want to but I can’t Ricky.”_

_“What do yous means?”_

_“I just- it’s too hard for me to do that. I want to though.”_

_“What dos you means it’s hard? It’s nots thats bad.”_

_“I’m too scared Ricky.” The admittance made Julian feel even worse and more embarassed. It was stupid to be too scared to even take a step towards Ricky, too scared that Julian’s world would completely fall apart and that Ricky was just messing around, that he would leave and Julian would be left alone. Ricky stood in place for a second, considering something._

_“Okay, then can I kiss you?” Ricky tried, startling Julian even further. Julian opened his mouth once before clearing his throat, nodding and trying so hard to not have a panic attack or freak out._

_“I- yeah. Yes.”_

_Ricky took a few steps forward, putting his hand gently on the back of Julian’s neck and running it slowly through his wavy hair, Julian nearly whining as Ricky did that cute lopsided grin. Ricky didn’t rush to connect their lips, instead savouring the moment and slowly wrapping his other arm around Julian’s back, making it so that their chests were touching. Julian knew that he was supposed to hold Ricky back, but he honestly didn’t think he could. He’d wanted this for so long but he knew that this was wrong, Ricky was doing this on emotion, he didn’t love Julian like that and this would ruin everything. Julian was trying to get out of his head, to stop thinking these things and just enjoy the moment, but it was so hard. Ricky didn’t seem to mind that Julian wasn’t touching him, still just smiling dopily, the fondness in his eyes shining. Shit Julian was so fucking in love. Ricky’s warm breath was now brushing his jaw, and Julian really did let out a small noise this time, immediately embarrassed and face flushing. Ricky let out a small chuckle, nose finally pushing against Julian’s as their lips pressed together._

_Neither boy really knew how to kiss, so it was more just an eager shoving of lips than anything, but Julian loved every fucking second of it. Ricky was so warm and comforting and fucking soft and he smelled like smoke and dirt, and it was so much better than Julian could have even expected. Ricky smiled into the kiss, unable to help himself, still moving his hand through Julian’s hair with ease and making the experience so fucking good. Julian wished there was a way that he could stay in the moment forever, wishing that he could always be surrounded by Ricky and that they could always be so happy and light. Julian swore to himself that he would always be with Ricky, at least as friends, for the entire rest of his life. Julian didn’t even notice at first as a few small tears ran down his face, too caught up in the moment._

_The moment ended all too fast, Ricky pulling away, breathing heavily but leaving his hands wrapped around Julian. Ricky took a good look at Julian’s face, wiping away the slight wetness with a confused but content expression._

_“You okay?” Ricky asked, words slurring together slightly._

_“Yeah, good tears.” Julian mumbled, soft smile resting despite his extreme embarrassment about crying over a fucking kiss. If his dad could see him right now he wouldn’t even be alive. Julian had told himself that he would never cry again, that he would stay as emotionally shut off as possible, and that was actually very easy for him, yet here he was. When Julian looked to him Ricky just kind of nodded, looking on the verge of tears himself, and Julian’s heart wouldn’t stop hammering._

_“Thats was fucking greats.” Ricky said almost dazedly, sloppy smile not deflating in the slightest._

_“Yeah, it was.” Julian agreed, taking a couple minutes to breathe._

_“Wanna gos watches the movie?” Ricky asked at last, grabbing the tape that he had earlier disregarded on the counter with one hand._

_“Sure man.” Julian was sad that things felt over, unraveling himself from Ricky as they moved to his room._

_Ricky got the movie ready like usual, banging on the TV a few times to get it to work. Julian tried to ignore the empty feeling that he now had, debating whether the kiss was a good idea. He didn’t regret it, he couldn’t, but from then on it would only be harder to watch as Ricky dated other people and Julian knew that he was caught in yet another self-destructive cycle. None of that really mattered though as Ricky laid down next him, partially on Julian’s lap and head resting on his muscled chest. Ricky played with Julian’s chain until he fell asleep, also exhausted from the arguing and probably from thinking more than usual. Julian took his turn to pet Ricky’s hair now, doing it just as gently as the other had._

_Julian cherished every second of the memory, how that night cemented itself as one of the best of his life._

**~~~**

“Things really haven’t changed that much, have they boys? You two still do all the crazy shit and I try to help you guys out, and we all stick together like a family.” Bubbles remarked, Julian slowly coming back to reality as Bubbles finished his own perspective of the memory. 

“Yeah we do.” Ricky said happily, taking yet another hit from the bong and coughing. Julian wondered if Ricky was thinking about the kiss too, but there was no way to tell, so he just relished in his own memories. Julian and Ricky never officially got together, they hadn’t even kissed again for years after their first kiss, instead just always being a little more than best friends. As they had grown they had times when they fucked around more than usual, and they had times when one of them got into a relationship, which never lasted for long. Sarah always said it best, they were codependent. Neither could live without the other, and Julian had come to terms with that.

“Well boys, I’m way too fuckin’ high right now, I’m heading home.” Bubbles announced, getting a hug from Ricky and waving to Julian as he moved to leave.

“See ya Bubs.”

“See ya.”

As the door closed Julian took the bong from Ricky, breathing in deeply from the mouthpiece. 

“Damn I am baked right now.” Ricky laughed out, leaning across the table they were sitting at to steal another hit. 

“Me too man.” Julian chuckled, letting his gaze linger on Ricky who was blowing out smoke. Ricky returned the stare, beaming as he started laughing randomly. He leaned forwards again, but instead of touching the bong he kissed Julian, shortly and softly, quickly retreating with a smirk.

“You remembered.” Julian stated, smiling sweetly with his brain buzzing at this point.

“Fuck yeah, how could I forget.” Ricky snorted, moving forwards again.

Bubbles smiled as he reached his shed. Ricky and Julian’s pining had always been a lot to do deal with, but he did his best to give the duo time to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh this story was so much fun to write, I’m so sad it’s over! I will definitely be writing more fanfics for julian and ricky soon and i have some good ideasss  
> Thank you for reading! Leave kudos if you liked and comments, I fucking love reading them!


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